Dancing With the Stars opened its ninth season with so many dancers, sixteen, that the first round had to be spread over two nights and four hours. There's a surprising amount of definition in the season already. It is safe to say that about half the field looks like it could be contending for the final week, and the other half is going to be scrambling every week, assuming they survive this one. We have also learned, if it could not have been guessed already, that America isn't ready to see Tom DeLay shake his filibuster.
We can divide the Season Nine field into five groups right off the bat:
The leaders: Four dancers appear to have moved out in front for now, and two of them are surprising, at least to me. I had not expected much of Aaron Carter coming in, but he was easily the most impressive male, displaying a startling comfort level for the first week and bringing an athleticism that Donny Osmond can't come close to matching. A little of his horndog praise of partner Karina Smirnoff goes a long way, though. I likewise hadn't known much about model Joanna Krupa, but it was shades of Brooke Burke in Week One as she dominated the female side. Despite wearing ugly fringed pants, her salsa was the only one of the night that brought both skill and sizzle. Mark Dacascos was, as advertised, a physical marvel, if not yet a seasoned dancer. Curmudgeon Len Goodman tweaked him for tossing a few martial arts references into his cha-cha-cha, but viewers won't care one bit. Singer Mya likely would have led the women on Tuesday had Goodman not chosen to punish her and partner Dmitry Chaplin for allegedly going outside the rules of the Viennese waltz. Still, she's the most experienced dancer on the women's side and has an easy ride to at least the final six.
The fan favorites: Osmond and Melissa Joan Hart did more than enough to advance, but both discovered that the judges aren't going to do them any favors. Osmond's foxtrot was heavy on showbiz flair but light on technical skill, as even he admitted while being judged. And while his discomfort with close holds might be understandable for a middle-aged Mormon, he's going to need to get over that quickly. Hart has loads of charm, but her self-deprecation about her dancing skill probably won't carry her past the midpoint of the season unless she improves rapidly. Having Mark Ballas by her side will help a lot. Kelly Osbourne might have begun this process as a curiosity, but the audience gave her a tremendous response, and the appearances of parents Ozzy and Sharon in the audience show that DWtS is going to work that angle for all it's worth. Osbourne belied her rock upbringing with a graceful Viennese waltz, though her generous scores, the highest of the night behind Krupa, were clearly handed out on a curve.
The jocks: It would be a major surprise to see one of these four going home considering what an athlete-loving show DWtS is, but the members of this group stand in varying degrees of health. Standing not even five and a half feet tall and bearing a mop of Efron-like hair, snowboarder Louie Vito looked like he was playing dress-up in daddy's clothes, but he and partner Chelsie Hightower made the big first impression they needed. MMA star Chuck Liddell tried hard at the foxtrot, but he's too large to bound around like Vito, and too reserved to engender sympathy. Hall of Fame wide receiver Michael Irvin started the DWtS process with no knowledge of ballroom dancing, and has been saddled with a partner, newbie Anna Demidova, who the judges appear to be putting through a hazing. He stood in last place after the cha-cha-cha, but seemed to improve on his relay dance, and his fame may buy him time for his natural grace to kick in. Olympic swimmer Natalie Coughlin stands just below the top women after the first week. She showed untrained promise on the salsa, but was more convincing when it came to the foxtrot later on.
The endangered: Ashley Hamilton began the season with little fan base and certainly didn't do much to build one on Monday. He displayed a stiff personality, and augmented it with uninspired dancing that even the hyper audience couldn't pretend to find interesting. He had the lowest scores on the male side, and deserved them. The two oldest women in the field may find themselves lost in the shuffle. Debi Mazar was enthusiastic and her salsa leading off Tuesday evening was energetic for a first-week effort; but the judges were not encouraging, and she may have been forgotten by the end of the two hours. Retired model Kathy Ireland looks great out there, but simply has no idea what she's doing while in motion. Visibly slower than even Macy Gray, she's in major trouble right off the bat.
The wild cards: Ex-House Majority Leader Tom DeLay and singer Macy Gray were widely seen ahead of time as possible train wrecks, but both hit the exact sweet spot that an offbeat contestant wants to nail in that they were memorable without being disasters. Viewers will often keep around the rhythmically challenged if they seem to really be trying and having a good time. DeLay acquitted himself decently for a 62-year-old man with a straitlaced image, mugging his way through a version of "Wild Thing" that didn't much resemble a cha-cha-cha. Gray was forced to cram rehearsal time into a tour schedule and her lack of preparation was evident, especially on her relay foxtrot. But the judges were gentle towards her, and that could help her get past Mazar or Ireland.
Predictions: Ashley Hamilton will get voted out and deprive us of seeing Edyta Sliwinska any more this season...as if the end of summer wasn't depressing enough. It's not quite as clear-cut on the women's side, but my guess is that Kathy Ireland falls just a bit short.
Source: http://www.film.com/tv/dancing-with-the-stars/story/dancing-stars-recap-new-house/30216782
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